“Kay.”

I was staring at my brother, but not hearing a word he was saying. My mind was elsewhere, and this time.. I couldn’t stop my train of thoughts. I was a sore loser. That’s what it looked like by me attacking Corey Black after our match was complete. How could I do that to someone I care about. Wait… cared about. No, who am I kidding. I was right the first time. Fucking hell. What was I going to do? How did my thoughts get back to Corey again? Oh right.. the drilling I had been receiving ever since the kids went to bed. Couldn’t I just go to sleep as well?! 

“KAY!”

I blinked as more than one person said my name that time. Jesus Christ were they loud!

“Damn it, you’re all going to wake the kids if you keep that up!”

“They won’t wake. We were not as loud as you think, and if you were paying attention, we wouldn’t have had to yell at all. So, are you going to answer the question or not?”

Wait, there had been a question? I raised my brow showing I had no clue as to what Donta was talking about. I opened my lips to speak, but closed them right away.

“You weren’t even listening. Jesus. We will never get to bed if you keep this up. How many times are you going to drift off on us?”

“I didn’t drift off at all! What are you talking about?”

Okay.. the glares coming from all five of them told me I was bad at lying. At least right this second.

“In the last hour alone, you have been stuck in your head for more than half of the time. So, are you going to tell us what you’re going to do regarding Corey, and Tyler or what?”

What am I going to do? What was Adrean talking about? There was nothing to do. Things were settled. Right? Ha. I couldn’t even fool myself on that one.

“There is nothing to do regarding Corey. He’s the past. End of story.”

Seeing the looks I was getting I could tell I didn’t fool any of them. Before they could speak I rushed on once more.

“As for Tyler and myself. Things are fine. I just… need to stop thinking too much. I know Elacia is only a toy in his plan.”

Was that all she was to Tyler too? A toy in his plan? After all, she had been one to help him with any obstacles that came his way. Damn it Kay! Stop this. Remember rule number one. The business will not interfere with the relationship. Keep it that way!

“Tyler and I might have some differences when it comes to work, but outside of the arena, things are great.”

Right.. that’s why she needed to come to see her family alone. What the hell was wrong with her?

“Look.. I am going to get some sleep. I got to head back early tomorrow. Tyler and I will be down over the holidays at some point. I will give ya’ll a call and let you know when so we can all get together. Okay?”

The looks I was getting were not reassuring. It looked like I was being sized up. Like they were trying to read my every emotion. Right now, I was probably an open book too. 

“Alright, get some sleep sis, but know… this isn’t over.”

Boy did I know it!

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The holiday had been amazing. I had also avoided being alone with my brothers the whole time we went to visit. Score one for me! That meant no more questions. At least for now. I knew it would come again. Hell, they were keeping a close eye on me. Sucked really, because every time I stepped into the arena it was with my game face on, and I wouldn’t think to hide anything knowing they were watching. Boy did they know how to catch me. Oh well.

It was just days before the New Year, and I still had no idea what Tyler and I planned to do. The most important thing however, was that I was finally able to put everything aside. I decided that it was best to leave the past where it was, and forget about it. There was no going back. I couldn’t keep opening these old wounds. I had to focus on other things.

Like Chase Sovereign.

The kitchen was clean, and the dishes were finally put away. I was able to sit down and relax for a while. And of course, instead of pulling out a chair, my ass found itself parked on the island. I was too exhausted to give a damn. Hell, at least this time around it wasn’t bare. That was a story that didn’t need to be told however. 

I stared down at my white cotton socks that covered my swaying feet as I sat there thinking. No, not about him.. about my match.

Chase Sovereign verses Kaylyn James Evans. I so did not like the sounds of that.

“I sure as hell hope that my first match going into the New Year does not tell me anything about how the whole year is going to be, because if so… I am screwed.“

Hell, I was screwed already wasn’t I?

“Everything that has been happening as of late.. has got to be behind me come the New Year. No more wondering about anything. It’s time to focus on what really matters.“

What did really matter? I didn’t even know anymore.

“I find myself in a match against someone with an amazing record. Hell. I doubt I have much of a chance, but that doesn’t mean I wont try. You see Chase.. I don’t really know how to prepare for a match with you. I mean..

I have seen how you are in the ring. That is the easy part.. however… seeing how you are outside of the ring…that’s what has me worried.“

Kaylyn stopped looking at her feet and lifted her head.

“I mean, damn, you will bang just about anything.. including Ms. Manning. It’s no wonder the nightmare came for you. I mean… hell. You pushed your psychiatrist to the limits, and than went right over them even. You pushed, and pushed and pushed… and finally, he pushed back.

Scary isn’t it? Having someone that knows everything about you. The good, the bad. All of your weaknesses. You trusted him as much as he trusted you. The problem? You got too close, too comfortable… and it came back to haunt you.“

Hell, I have room to talk. Everything is coming back to haunt me right now. Talk about pot meeting kettle. No. Forget it. Everything is not coming back to haunt you. It’s done and over with! 

How many times to I have to tell myself that before it becomes the truth.

“Now you have a walking Nightmare. I am sure you can push that aside long enough to get into the ring and deal with me. I am not worried about that at all. The thing you have to realize though, is if you beat me… there is that great possibility of you having to face off with Nightmare one on one once again. You seen what he did to you the last time. Are you ready to go through that again? Or do you think you can get past him if given another shot?

I guess that really doesn’t matter right now does it?“

Wait… if I beat Chase… I might have to go against Tyler in the end… whoa.. I am so not ready for the possibility of that happening! Good thing I don’t stand a chance in this. Wait… why in the hell do I keep doubting myself? Shake it off Kay-kay. Just shake it off. Mm, that’s what he called me. WHOA, not again.

“What matters is you getting your head where it should be. Stopping the thinking with your dick long enough to stand up and be a man for a change, instead of an addict. Wait, you don’t know how to be anything but an addict do you? Jesus, did someone drop a pill in your drink when you were younger and you just got hooked or what? I mean hell, every time you’re seen you’re high as a kite. I guess that mask at least hides some of it now, though your eyes still tell a story.“

Hell, everyone’s eyes told a story if one took the time to notice. How else did my brothers know how much I was lying to them? They could see it all in my eyes. Hell, that’s one thing I can’t hide. Damn it Kay, don’t do this to yourself. You have to focus. This match is no joke. It’s a chance to move up in IWF! Take it already! 

I wanted to… I wanted to so bad, but… I couldn’t. I can’t. Rather.. I wouldn’t. Right?

“Death Drug told a story. Heck, I can’t believe you even came up with that. Really? The only true thing would be Death by Drugs when it comes to you. I don’t get it. All this talent being thrown away so you can keep doing drugs. What’s the point? One of these days you are going to drop dead in the middle of the ring.“

Damn… I think that was a bit harsh. Well, it might have been, but… the truth hurts. Hm, does it ever. That’s why I wont bring myself to think about… You’re doing it again! Right. No thinking about Corey. Um, so… where was I?

“I guess if you do that though, you will be giving in. Letting everything beat you. That’s one way to show everyone that you’re a great wrestler. Throw it all away like so many others have done before. Hell, you might just wind up being the next Shadow.“

Holy hell… what the fuck is wrong with me? How can I be so mean? Shit, maybe I need a Psychiatrist. Right. Talk to someone. Tell them all my secrets, so they can use it against me in the end. Ha. I am smarter than that. I just wish I could keep my mouth shut at times. Oh well, no turning back now. What’s said is said, and that’s that.

“Either way… in just a few short days it will be you and I stepping into the ring together. As much as you might love for me to just lay on my back, so you can get on top of me…. sorry hunny, it isn’t going to happen. I’m not that easy, despite what others might say. You want this win, then you will have to earn it. Beat the hell out of me and take me to the limits. Exhaust me enough so I can’t get up before the three count. That’s the only way it will happen.“

Oh hell… I hope he doesn’t take that the wrong way. Knowing him… I just gave him an open invitation to fuck the hell out of me until I couldn’t bare to stand it any longer. Smooth Kay… real smooth.

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“THE PERFECT TEN“

KAYLYN JAMES EVANS

 WINS: 8 ∞♥∞♥∞♥∞♥∞♥∞ LOSSES:11

DRAW: 1