History of Kaylyn J. Evans

Tyler and I went looking for apartments today… the second I fell in love with one he was all for being there with me… I turned the page after reading that much, shaking the memory away.

He became the World Heavyweight Champion. I am so proud of him. Another quick turn of the pages.

He is starting to change and I am not sure if I like the path he is taking business wise. I need to step away… Once again I turned the pages before going to the last entry made just a week ago.

I really did it. I walked away from the one person I cared about when he needed me the most. I cut the ties and watched as his career suffered because of it. Of course being a man, he would never admit it, but I know. His whole change that has come about him…is a cover to protect the man inside from showing how broken he has truely become. It’s time to face the present, and bring back the past… and the future.

April 26th, 2012

I closed the book and tossed it on the bed beside me. Why was I reliving the past? Why make myself think about it? It was rather pointless in the end… or so it was starting to seem. I looked over at Heather and she said nothing. She knew I was going through a lot and she didn’t want to get me worked up even more… not intentionally at least.

“Do I think I am in way over my head here? Sure I do! That doesn’t mean that I plan to back down though. Hell, I’ve been ready to step into the ring opposite him… just to see if the Tyler I came to love still exists.”

“Do you love him still?”

“You don’t just stop loving someone overnight.”

“True, but it’s been a while now Kaylyn. It’s time to move on.”

“I know. I honestly thought we could get through anything. I thought we could move mountains together, but so much was happening at once… his mom, both of our careers… in the end… it was better this way.”

“Better for whom?”

Did she have to ask that? She knows me better than most people so why make me say it aloud?

“Better for me, and you know it. I couldn’t stay anymore Heather. I mean… I really wanted to, but everything I said to him business wise was just making things harder at home. I didn’t agree with many of the things he has done in his career… more so now than ever, and I wasn’t going to just sit back and watch as things went down the way they were. I had a lot going on dealing with Corey and everything else as well. So it was just… the best for both of us.

Heather raised her brow for a moment and gave me that look… the one that showed she had a feeling I was full of shit. Great, just what I needed.

“I’m not saying thats not the case… but it still seems like you were taking the easy way out…. for yourself.“

“That’s besides the point Heather.”

“No, that is exactly the point Kaylyn. You did the same with Corey, just not as openly as you did with Tyler.”

“Jesus Heather. I didn’t do anything with Tyler in such a manner. Everything that was seen was all business related. I thought you would see things my way.”

“Relax Kay, im not saying that. At the same time… You’re not seeing this the way Tyler is.”

“Oh please. Like he cares. He is telling everyone he dropped me, and calling me every name in the book just like the rest of them. He fucking knows better. Do you know how bad that hurt when he said that shit? You know what. Forget it. Its the past. It’s staying there.”

 “If that was how you really felt about it… then you wouldn’t have been reading through your book and getting yourself to think about the old days. You did the same thing when Corey came back into the picture. You thought you could move on and just never see him again… and then he joined IWF and everything came back to you… because you let it.”

I sighed in defeat. She was right. I was not about to admit that though.

“Look Heather, I got to get ready for mom and dad, they should be arriving soon.”

“Sure thing Kay. Next time just say it like it is though. You’re done with this conversation and don’t want me to tell it to you like it really is, so you’re using your parents as an excuse.”

“I am not!”

“Right… thats why they are really arriving later this afternoon and you’re making it seem like they will be here any minute now. Hint taken. If you need me… just call, Kay.”

As Heather stood up and went to head out of the room I groaned before pulling the pillow over my head. She was right… more than right. Now I was stuck in a place I didn’t want to be in. In the ring… with my former love across the ring from me. Great.

Later that day I found myself sitting here talking aloud to no one at all as I was by myself in the living room just staring at the ceiling as I laid across the couch.

“I knew what I was doing from day one when I confronted Tyler at the show. I knew what was likely to come, and it didn’t stop me from doing it at all. That there shows me how cold hearted I really am. I have always, and will always care about myself first, and everyone else comes in second. I do what I have to do to keep myself in the game. I have never cared who I hurt as I did it… I just regretted some of the decisions I have made way after the fact. Why? Why bother regretting it if I know I am going to continue to do it time and again?”

I sighed and closed my eyes enjoying the darkness that the light was trying to invade.

 ”After I made my choices, I knew for a fact that down the line… I would see Tyler again. I don’t mean in passing… but in the ring. I knew it would come, just not so soon. That is my own doing however, and its something I will not regret. I wanted this match… I need this match… not just for me… well… yeah. It is just for me. I need to know if Tyler is really still in there… or if he is truly a new man now. Why do I need to know this though?”

 I pushed my hands on the couch bringing myself to sit up as I opened my eyes and groaned before standing and pacing the length of the couch.

“Why do I care to know if he has changed. I shouldn’t give a damn about it at all. I should just let him be whoever the hell he wants to be and let him choose whatever path he wants to without caring if he fucks his life up. Damn it. This is not how everything was supposed to be. I could have just walked away… for good. Like I did with Corey. Leave him hanging by moving on with my life, and career… elsewhere. Instead I chose to stay and let things eat up at me. Why?”

 The Knight of Swords. This indicates again an environment of rapid changes, ideas fly and problems or challenges that quickly appear are quickly solved. But, you must be careful not to over think things. Go with the gut instinct, Kaylyn, or you will experience restlessness and resist the change you should embrace. Consider the consequences of your words and actions while his is active in your life, and it will help you find clever ways to win in battle.

“Environment of rapid changes… problems or challenges…. quickly solved. But how?”

 …. Be careful not to over think things.

“Damn it, easy for her to say! I never should have agreed to a reading. She knew I would over think it all. I always do! Everything she said made so much sense, that it’s hard not to over think it.. but… the thing that I am thinking about the most… is the way to win in battle. Could it be a win-win situation for me either way?”

 I groaned and stopped pacing before falling into a seated position on the couch.

 ”On one hand… I could lose the match.. on the other.. I could win…. but either way… I will find out if Tyler is really still in there right? So I win no matter what… if that’s the real reason I want to get into the ring at least..”

May 5th, 2012

Even with the match between Lance and Tyler coming up… I still want my own revenge. My thoughts and feelings regarding him have been changing a lot these past few weeks, and I still can’t get over the fact that he attacked me. No matter what… I don’t think I could ever forgive him for that. Sure.. I always said business is business… but this… has become personal between us. Maybe that’s the way he wanted it all along? Maybe when he called me while I was out with Chase a few weeks ago he already knew he would be teaming up with Rain. He wanted to get under my skin… and he has.

I must have been foolish to think that we could have worked in the same business together and have everything not effect us as a whole outside of it. I was blind, and I admit that… but I am not anymore.

I am not saying I am not to blame, because I know I am as much at fault as he is. If we really wanted to make it work… we could have… but we didn’t even try in the end. Instead we both went our own ways… and because he didn’t like the route I took.. he is making me pay for it.

What is really bothering him? Is it the fact that I walked away when he was at his lowest point and hes yet to reclaim himself, or is me working with Chase really getting to him that much? So I pointed Chase into the right direction. I straightened him out enough to help him notice he was able to get to the top. He got there on his own… I just helped lead him the right way.

Tyler was already at the top when I joined… And never once did I use that to my advantage. When he became the World Heavyweight Champion… that was all him. I never once claimed it was me that got him there.. because it wasn’t. Just like it’s not my fault he is nothing now… he is lost.. and needs to be found. But can I even do that anymore? Do I even want to see if he is in there still?

I keep racking my brain for the answers, but I am not able to make it certain. I can not say that is my only reason for wanting this match anymore. Now, its so much more than that. Now… its about making a statement to him. Letting him know that I will not be someone he can just push around. After this match is over… so is anything that goes with it. The past… the present back and forth… it will all be gone after JR. I refuse to dwell on what could have been.. or what could be.

Hell, I would be stupid to think that anything could be after all of this. It’s just impossible for any patching up now. I put my heart on the line… and now I am putting everything behind me. I am done thinking about it all after we finish in the ring. Sure I say that now… but who knows if it will be true. I am moving on with my life.

But do I want him to move on in his?

“Come on Kay, pull yourself together.”

How could I even care if he moved on in his life? He attacked me! He cost me a match. Taking me out when I might have had things won. Jesus… I need to stop this. I can’t keep thinking about it because it’s going to drive me mad.

While thinking I heard my phone go off and turned to look at the cell sitting on the floor across the room. I was surprised it was still working even. Hell, it was one of the things I tossed around the room many times since coming home. I been doing a lot of that lately. I could blame him… but it’s me thats letting it get to me. Hes gotten into my head… and I can’t let that continue. I can not let him win. It can’t happen… or I will never hear the end of it.

May 8th, 2012

“I am regretting asking my parents to come out to New York. Me doing such put them into danger… and that I will never forgive myself for. The second they were cleared by EMT’s I sent them right back home again, damned what they thought about myself staying here alone. Tyler went too far. He wanted to send a message to me… fine… keep my family out of it. Just because you lost yours does not give you the right to put mine in harms way. I thought you were better than that Brooks. I thought I knew who you really were… but I was wrong.

I don’t know a damn thing about you. As far as I am not concerned… the past was a mistake that I wish never happened. The present, is something you will be dealing with tomorrow night… and the future, starts next week when I step into the ring with you.”

May 10th 2012

“After everything that has gone down lately… I can’t trust anyone anymore. If I want something done, I have to do it myself. Sure, Lance gave Brooks a run for his money… Lance is not the problem here. Brooks is. Brooks and every person he knows I associate myself with.

Tyler, after the stunt you pulled… you wont be able to find my parents again… and if my brothers were smart they left too, to keep the kids safe. Hell, maybe the Brooks I knew was just a front… maybe who you are right now is who you really are. Either way… I don’t wish to find out anymore.

Your actions as of late have not gotten my attention… you already had that. All your recent actions have done was pissed me off to the point that I don’t care about winning anymore…. I just care about destroying you. I wont stay in the ring and have this match as it should be if the opportunity arrises. I want to grab something and just beat the living hell out of you so I never have to deal with you again.

I could have screwed you over this past week Tyler, but instead I called it straight down the line… just for you to pull a dick move and attack me after the match. Real class. I am sick of your games Tyler. I’m done with it… done with you.”

Grabbing the last box from the back of the closet I carried it into the living room before dumping the entire contents into the fire place, which was overflowing out onto the floor. Grabbing a pile of photos off the couch I looked down at them one by one. Me changing in the dressing room trying things on for Tyler. I shook my head before tossing it close to the pile and taking a step back. Standing hand in hand with Tyler after his press conference… I tossed that as well, a short distance from where the last one fell. One by one every picture of us found its way to the floor, leading a trail from the fire place throughout the house.

“Everything about us, will never be within looking distance ever again. I should have gotten rid of this all before, but I thought we could get past everything that had happened. I was foolish to think such… and I am going to make sure I don’t make that mistake again.

To think, at one point… you were a complete gentleman. You had my back through and through. You even sat at the side of my bed when I was hospitalized… and got revenge against those that put me there. Why did you even bother Brooks? Why bother if this is who you truly are?”

I walked over to the stove and turned on each of the pilates so the gas was coming through. Walking away I lite a match and tossed it into the fire palce watching as things started to catch flame. Shaking my head I stepped outside the house and started to walk off after closing the door behind me. I didn’t stop until I was blocks away and I heard windows shatter. Turning around I stood there watching the smoke and flames rising from the place I called a home.

“The only thing that is going to suck about watching this place burn down… is knowing you’re not inside the building too.”

Harsh? No, it was the gods honest truth. He put his hands on me… and that is something that I let no man do… and he will pay for it. One way or another… he will pay. And what the hell was that smile between the two of them all about after the match was over? Do they think iI don’t watch this shit after the fact? I am not going to be played.

“I don’t care where I go from here…. as long as it’s far away from you. Make no mistake about it though Brooks… come Japanese Rising… I will be there in the ring across from you. The Kaylyn you knew is far gone now. I wont be playing games in the ring like before when we would mess around. I plan to give everything I have, and then some… just to make sure you stay down… hopefully for good.”